Him: Did I hear you correctly, Thomas? Are you saying, that there are no greenhouse gases at all?
Him: Do you know that water is the prime greenhouse gas?
Me: It is not.
Him: It is. It’s only you, who says otherwise.
Me: Give me a minute, do not interject except for short answers to my questions and you’ll agree with me.
Him: Sure, go ahead.
Me: The standard narrative goes that cloudy mornings are warmer than clear sky mornings. Correct?
Him: Sure, that’s exactly what I, as well as every other sane person, are saying.
Me: You see, a cloud isn’t water vapor. It’s either liquid or solid. True?
Him: Yes. But …
Me: Silence please, you have agreed not to interject!
Me: Well, it’s a small portion of liquid water or ice, a cloud technically speaking, which obscures our view. And IR photons, as well. Hence the “warming” effect in the cloudy morning.
Him: What about water molecules in the air, which are in the gas phase?
Me: You have very many of them on an average clear morning. In total, much more than in a relatively thin cloud; yet a thin cloud prevents frost sometimes, but a much larger quantity of water dissolved in 10 kilometers of air, does not.
Me: For example, there is a lot of water in the air over Sahara. Dissolved water. It doesn’t prevent cold mornings. Clouds, on the other hand, do.
Him: Fine, you are just nitpicking. It’s not a greenhouse gas, it’s a greenhouse liquid or solid. It’s the same!
Me: The next one, carbon dioxide, is only in the form of gas in our atmosphere. Never solid, even less liquid.
Him: It seems that water is a greenhouse gas after all!
Me: Greenhouse perhaps, but only when it’s not in the gas state.
Him: It might be that water is a greenhouse liquid/solid, but carbon dioxide might be a greenhouse gas non the less.
Me: It isn’t.
Him: How do you know?
Me: I know at least something obvious. That water isn’t a greenhouse gas, but a greenhouse liquid/solid maybe. You people failed to spot the obvious fact about that. So I treat you all as a … well – less intelligent crowd.
Him (thinks): I hate you.
Him: Let talk about something else.